The Day I Inadvertently Organized My Junk Drawer While Performing A Writing Exercise

Not a very catchy title maybe, but it’s not a very catchy ‘story’ either, hehehe.

I have decided to do what Stephen King and others have suggested, and write 1000 words every day. Not only does it sound like fun, but it will also keep me away from ‘Mystic India Pop’ for long enough every day to get rid of the ‘tennis elbow’ in my ‘mouse’ hand. Anyway, this is my first effort toward that end. For today’s exercise, I was supposed to make a list of everything I found in a random drawer and then write a short story in which all those items appear, but writing the list itself has already made up more than the 1000 words that is my daily target so tomorrow I will make up a story. In the meantime, here are the contents of the junk drawer beside my desk:

One cell phone user guide, which I just put in my file cabinet, in case I ever need to try and decipher it.

Card reader with a card in it that is full of photos I am no longer interested in, taken with a digital camera with a broken viewfinder that I am no longer in possession of. (Is the word ‘of’ one of those prepositions that you are not supposed to end a sentence with? Oh well.)

Plastic spool for wrapping excess head phone cord around. Very tidy but it is sort of a pain in the ass to use. Although not as much as the cord tying itself in knots over and around everything on my desk, including things like dragon incense burners and overflowing ashtrays, causing them to end up on the floor. It is no longer in the drawer, it is now on my desk with my excess head phone cords neatly wrapped around it.

One electric cigarette charger with a red devil on it.

Spare set of headphones.

Telephone cord for a land line, very short, but long enough to get tangled up with everything else in the drawer. Definitely don’t need this.

One electric razor and a blue charger for it, with about 3 feet of coiled wire dangling from it, which of course was tangled up with all the other stuff  tangled up in the other tangled cord.

Nose and ear plugs in a clear plastic case for taking to the pool. I took them out of the drawer and put them in my pool bag.

A chub pad labeled ‘Positive Aspects’ that I have had for a few years. There is nothing but a phone number written in it.

A drink coaster with a picture of a guy with his kilt blowing up and showing his butt. Nice butt too. I think I’ll put that on my bedside table.

A small plastic baggie with some brown powder in it labeled ‘Krypton 30X.’ I don’t have a clue what it is. A biker type, ex-drug dealer of a bitter old man that I met on MyLot when I was a bitter old woman, sent it to me along with some stuff that was possibly Salvia divinorum. I never used any of it, even though I was wanting to try Salvia, because I didn’t trust the guy too much. But especially not that Krypton stuff… it smells like incense to me. I don’t know why I never threw it away. Maybe I thought I would change my mind. It’s going in the trash right now.

One small bottle of ‘SAGE GODDESS EMERALD ESSENCE’, touted as: “an extraordinary potion of enchantment. One of the finest Salvia divinorum preparations ever created, it engenders profound experiences that enrich and nurture mind and spirit. As a tool for exploring the psyche it can provide access to fresh, often startling, insights into the nature of consciousness, reality, perception, and the fundamental mysteries of existence.” Which Salvia divinorum does in fact provide, but I have yet to have much luck with this tincture. To use it involves getting through an excruciatingly hard and painful 5 to 15 minutes, and I have never had much happen at the end of those minutes so I’m not feeling as enthusiastic about it as I was when I paid 100 bucks for it. I’m gonna give it one more shot, as soon as the time comes when I think I can live through the killer burn and the horrible, horrible taste, and without dribbling green drool down my chin while I try to hold it under my tongue for 15 minutes! If it’s still a no gain situation at that point then I will throw the rest away, although I will keep the cobalt blue jar with the nifty dropper.

One disposable dropper, for mixing water with the dose of emerald essence.

A pair of reading glasses with a leopard design on the, ummm, handles? Ear rests? Holder uppers? I’m drawing a blank on what that part of the glasses is called.

A strip of Velcro left over from affixing my power strip to the wall so I can plug my ‘Fairy Sitting on a Crescent Moon’ nightlight into it.

One of those little recipe and information booklets that you sometimes find at the checkout line in a grocery store. This one is on yoga. It has a lot of interesting poses that I have not seen elsewhere, but it does not need to be in this drawer, I’ll put it with my other yoga books.

Two packets of Bugler rolling papers, which I have put in my smoking paraphernalia drawer. I’ll put that electronic cigarette charger in there too.

One Ziploc baggie with envelopes in it. Also some beautiful stamps with purple flowers and the word LOVE on them. I bought them when stamps were still just 44 cents though and now I will have to buy some stamps worth 1 cent in order to use them. There are also some liberty bell stamps in there which can still be used no matter what rate increases have occurred since I bought them.

An unused greeting card, still in it’s plastic wrapper, that says ‘Thinking of You’ on it. Good thing I went through this drawer, because if I had somebody I wanted to send a card like this to, I would not have remembered that I already had one and would have gone out and bought a new one. I wouldn’t have remembered my stamps were in here either!

A jade ring that is too big for my pinky, but too small for my ring finger. My daughter took that so it will not be going back into this drawer, although it is too large for her pinky and too small for her ring finger as well. I don’t know what she’s going to do with it.

A pink baggie all folded up with 4 little Styrofoam sticky feet in it. I don’t know what I could possibly need them for but if I ever did I wouldn’t think to look in this drawer for them. I think I’ll put them in my toolbox.

A small brush for cleaning my electric razor.

About 50 sample packets of eye cream. It seems like such a waste to throw them away. Maybe I’ll just start using them instead.

A silver filigreed book marker that fits over the corner of the page of the place you want to save. I think I’ll put that on my bed stand.


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